you know how kids on airplanes kick their feet into the seat in front of them?

Leighton went to a Montessori workshop a couple of weeks ago where a presenter talked about the importance for children of having size appropriate furniture, such as chairs that allow their feet to reach the ground. To achieve this, the presenter recommended the child eating by a separate lower table next to the adults' dining table. I'm not crazy about that idea. Maybe if we had more than one child. For now I like to have Lilly "with" us at the table when we have dinner.

Feet grounded

However, this presenter's emphasis on children's need to have their feet reach the floor to feel grounded has caused some conversation around here. Might it explain her (very annoying) pushing of her feet into my driver's seat? Or her kicking at the table during meals? And the coffee table when we're on the couch, crunching the rug into an accordion? Or does she do that because she wants to have her feet on the table like I do?

But how about in bed? While she will sleep calmly and snuggly next to me, she has this thing of pushing her legs into my body when she wakes up in the morning. If we don't get up right away, that is.

Like yesterday morning. So it's Saturday and I'm down with a cold and I don't feel like getting up when she wakes up before 7. So I lie there, feigning sleep. As she squirmingly and relentlessly persists in kicking my body. What's up with that? While she has the decency not to "wake" me by speaking until I actually turn around and open my eyes, she just kept on like that for the entire hour and a half it took me to feel like I could "start" the day.

Of course, by then I was so frustrated that I poured all that crap out on Leighton. And I remain wondering, what's the deal with the kicking?

ever feel like you're being stalked by a toddler?

I love sharing my bed with Lilly, but in the morning I'm in serious need for some space to myself. To at least make coffee. Have some breakfast. Ideally check my e-mail real quick.

Yesterday morning, I was at my wits end; not only was I being stalked by my toddler, she was literally standing on my slippers at one point as I was trying to pour myself a cup of coffee. Being sick with a banging headache, I didn't feel much like the scream and feel better approach. Instead I texted a mama in arms: "Ever feel like you're being stalked by a toddler?" Right away a text popped up in return: "You have good timing. I was about to scream, you made me laugh."

Perhaps sometimes a text message is all you need to regain some sanity.

with financial crisis, what's a good time for a second child?

I couldn't help feeling mixed when a close friend announced last summer that she was pregnant with number two. For about a year we'd been talking about how neat it'd be to conceive our second child around the same time, to go through pregnancy, child birth, and the parenting of an infant side by side. And when she shared her happy news with me, I was still sipping my red raspberry tea on a loyal daily basis, seeing as how it promised to support my female system.

(Baby belly number 1)

Well, I'm still sipping that tea and no ovulation in sight. You might think it'd be nice not to have had a period since August 2007, but frankly I miss it. I mean, it's always been an irregular visitor; so whenever it did show up I felt proud about my body and what it was capable of. Nursing gives me that sense too, of course, and I'm not feeling ready to wean just to see if that could help boost my female system in other areas.

Now that we're delving into the entrepreneurial line of work after our countless failed job searches, the grief around the unconceived second child has waned significantly. With barely any income, a second child just does not seem opportune at all. And feeling like I've found the kind of work I really want to do, more than anything, I want to devote any free (and not so free) moment to our LOVE, SEX, AND FAMILY resource center, not to see all my time consumed by taking care of a little baby.

There's already too little time to work, now that Leighton is so busy with some extra work hours, adding development training and an internship on top of that, pushing his thesis work to the side more and more. But I am claiming some time, and our LOVE, SEX, AND FAMILY site is steadily growing. And I am (not so) secretly looking forward to Lilly beginning Montessori preschool for three hours a day Monday through Friday this fall, and feel excited about the prospect of having her in Montessori''s summer program this June for three hours a day.

So then why, after a few days of feeling particularly lusty for my hubby--despite us all being sick around here; runny noses typically sapping my libido--do I find myself wondering with some anticipation: Could I be ovulating? Might we be joined by a Christmas baby?

Biological instinct? Psychological urge? Emotional sentimentality? It sure doesn't feel like it's rational reasoning in any case.

teaching my toddler about her yoni

(Photo: LesleyS)

I took the time to shower after lunch today. I figured it had been since Monday and I'd been to the gym both Tuesday and this morning, so I figured it was about time. Showering with my contacts on, I could see it was time for other grooming too. I shaved my legs and armpits and when I'd dried off, I positioned myself somewhat awkwardly hovering over the toilet with our nail scissors in hand. At this point, Lilly decided to join me in our minuscule bathroom, studying me intently. As I always do when she sees me naked, I pointed out what's different, how mama has hair around her yoni and when she grows up she will too, and while it's not necessary to trim it, mama sometimes thinks it looks nice.

As it turns out, trimming one's yoni hairline half crunched over, I also get a not so flattering view of my formerly intact and plump labia drooping down in slivers of skin and flesh. It caught her eye too, and figuring this was as good as any time to take the education a step further, seeing as I've been blogging about the importance of talking to our children about their developing sexuality and all of their body parts over at lovesexfamily, I explained in my most upbeat voice that our vulvae have inner and outer labia, hers does too just like mine. This got her very curious and we finally got her pants and panties off and sat her down on a stool so she could see for herself.

My little toddler girl was so proud when she found her labia. Wow. And now let me just point out that pronouncing "my labia!" in Norwegian (kjønnsleppene mine!) over and over again is quite the feat. Seeing that it was almost naptime, she kind of zoned out touching her labia (as Haffner points out, toddlers often touch their genitals to calm themselves before sleep). - It feels good to touch one's labia, doesn't it, I said. She nodded, gaze glazed. And then I said the most extraordinary thing: - That's because our yonis are a very special part of our bodies. Imagine, it's through my yoni that you came out of my belly and into this world! - Lilly used to live in mama's belly, she mused.

I can't imagine a better way to round off this little lesson of ours. Not only did it empower her, it renewed my relationship to my yoni. It may not look the same, but it sure is an amazing part of me.