with separation from child: most say allow some crying

The results are in from my poll on separation and crying with the majority saying they are in favor of allowing some crying: 

To the question: "with separation from child: allow no cry, some cry, or let cry?" 9 % checked no cry, 81 % some cry, and 9 % let cry. The results from the previous poll on children's sleep and crying were 12 % for no cry, 31 % some cry, and 56 % let cry. 

I think it's interesting that less were inclined to leave their children crying in terms of separation while the majority was in favor of doing it for sleep. To me, both seem equally vulnerable times for a child.

finding my time for sanity

I'm beginning to feel a little better over here, hunkered down at home. I made a point to shower and get dressed yesterday; the last couple of weeks have seen me mainly in sweats, rarely freshly showered. I've spent every free (and not so free) moment working and am beginning to feel a little more on top of things in that department. 

My work time is my time. And my working out time is my time too. Leighton made a comment the other day about how much I've been heading over to the YMCA lately, that I'd be getting really fit here soon. The point, however, isn't just or even primarily physical fitness. Through exercise and particularly yoga, I find strength and balance. Now more than ever, I need that. 

When I was pregnant with Lilly, practicing yoga was the only exercise I could do till the end that didn't hurt or feel uncomfortable. This is me just days before labor started practicing pre-natal yoga with Shiva Rea.

After 64 hours of labor even walking hurt for months. But yoga still felt good, and so I continued with Shiva Rae's post-natal yoga.

Now I'm trying to nurture an appreciation for yoga in Lilly, practicing yoga with her along the instructions of Marsha Wenig in Yoga Kids: From Silly to Calm. I don't want to push it; that would be very un-yogi and really just kill the joy of it. But Lilly is getting more and more into it; sometimes she'll break into some of the poses spontaneously and I love that.

I originally started practicing yoga as a grad student back in the mid to late nineties. I started practicing then to find my body which I had fallen out of touch with. My life evolved around thinking and writing fueled by coffee and cigarettes. I was underweight and overworked, my back and shoulders constantly aching. 

I stopped smoking and started exercising as a college professor, still overworked, but also dealing with a difficult relationship. Becoming strong physically helped me find strength to put that relationship behind me.

I was never one to eagerly race to the gym, however. Not until I became a mom. Now more than ever I need to work out. I need to stretch my back and shoulders aching from carrying. To tread out frustration. To zone out on the elliptical machine while thinking through things, preferably to some upbeat tunes on my ipod. To feel awake again.

happy international women's day!

It's a day to celebrate:

• Women Keep House (and Maybe Senate?) Better Than Men (New York Times)
  "In honor of International Women’s Day: A new study finds that  Congressional representatives who are women outperform their male counterparts, perhaps because the bar is higher for them to get elected in the first place."

• International Women's Day (Homepage)
  "2011 year marks the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day. The day was commemorated for the first time on 19 March 1911 in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland, following its establishment during the Socialist International meeting the prior year. More than one million women and men attended rallies on that first commemoration.
  
  In 1975, during International Women's Year, the United Nations began celebrating 8 March as International Women's Day. Two years later, in December 1977, the General Assembly adopted a resolution proclaiming a United Nations Day for Women's Rights and International Peace to be observed on any day of the year by Member States, in accordance with their historical and national traditions. The Day is traditionally marked with a message from the Secretary-General."
  
• 100 years of empowering international women (The Telegraph)
  "Figures released to coincide with the 100th annual International Women's Day (IWD) show there is still a considerable gender pay gap across the globe."
  

mamas on the verge of a nervous breakdown

I received an email from a friend this morning, reporting on research that stresses the importance of concentrated focus despite the creative rewards of daydreaming: "Lose Focus, Lose Happiness." Perhaps this has been my problem lately. I've mentioned that, while developing my new business, I've been assigned to take inventory of my strengths and weaknesses. Topping the latter is: "desire to do all at once." To compensate for this, I've drafted a plan for what to do when, but it doesn't seem to be working for me. There's just that competitive urge in me to beat the list, and to get more done than it believes possible. To get more done sooner means to get more done at once. So then there's juggling work on my feminist porn book, which I'm translating from Norwegian to English; and my article on sex among youth that I'm revising to submit. And there's blogging both here and there. And there's developing LOVE, SEX, AND FAMILY.

All this as a full-time mama of a toddler who is not fond of sleep, leaving me no time at night (since I go to bed with her) and only a measly hour or so in the afternoon when she naps.

Solution?

1. Attempt enforcement of quite time after lunch while she looks at books, draws, or plays quietly as I get some stuff done on my computer. 
2. Sneak away to my ad hoc desk in our bedroom whenever Leighton's around and I'm not busy cooking or cleaning.
3. Get up in the middle of the night after my nocturnal bathroom run to write in a sleeping house.

It's not working out to much satisfaction. And as a result, I find myself prone to thoughts and emotions I'm not proud of. I'm definitely not in my finest days as a mom.