Monday, August 6, 2012

free to be you and me

What my first couple's only vacation since becoming a parent gave me was the opportunity to simply be free to be you and me. "We're off on our 'first romantic getaway,'" I wrote a couple of weeks ago, but that really didn't put the right spin on things at all. There's something so awfully 1950s about the term. Like she dresses up for him and he courts her, and they live happily ever after.

Our experience was nothing like that at all. What I found was the chance to drop our roles as both parents and husband-wife and simply have a lot of honest, sexy fun together. We both went giddy wild consignment shopping together for a whole afternoon, after which we drenched our thirst with local beer at one of the many brewery pubs in Fort Collins. We dressed up and dined at all the recommended restaurants I'd tracked down in Denver, but our conversations weren't dressed up. They were the kinds of conversation shared by best friends and lovers, fellow travel through life companions and soul mates. Lounging on roof top decks and court yard patios, surrounded by the nighttime fireworks of thunder and lightning, we not so much gazed lovingly at each other as we gave ourselves and took each other in completely with our words and eyes.

Delighted by what we saw of an openness to a more sexual fluidity, we enjoyed ourselves in that respect too. We went to a very merry and inclusive drag show one night, and a frolicking burlesque striptease show another night, admiring the beauty of the human body in all its forms and sizes. We want dancing and we listened to live music and we stayed up later than I can ever remember having done since becoming a parent, not counting staying up because of a sick child.

Of course our bodies still woke us up in the wee hours, but at least we could lounge in bed and enjoy each other for hours more. And it was all good.

Of course, it was great to see Lilly again too after our three amazing nights away. And it was wonderful for all of us to return to our home and sanctuary after another stretch of nights visiting with family. And now we have our memories to savor and the deep knowledge of what we have and can be when we're not so busy with all our other daily responsibilities. I'm already looking forward to having a night here and there this fall to be just us, and will put in every effort to make those nights come true. Hopefully through more sleepovers (Lilly had her first at a friend's house this summer, and that was a huge success). Though we might just have to start paying for someone (which we still never have); it would mean that much to us, even if we don't really have the money. And at least now we know there are people in our life Lilly can feel comfortable being put to bed by. The assistant teacher at her Montessori preschool for instance would be just perfect and has already said she'd love to do it.

Our "romantic getaway" wasn't "the final bravado" of anything at all. It was the beginning of so much more.

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