Friday, March 9, 2012

mama gets to work

Work and Dates
used to look more like this.
I've been craving more time to pursue my work, so we've made some positive changes around here. Leighton has cut down on hours from his position, meaning I now have a total of at least 25 hours to work each week: 15 in the morning when Lilly's in preschool, and 10 spread out on three afternoons. Two days a week I have a full 7 hours, and I still get to pick up a hungry, tired, mama-needy Lilly from preschool and spend a couple of hours with her before I head back to the library to write.

It's a good thing for us. Now I get to be the coveted, fun parent at the end of the day at least a couple days a week. And I'm more patient when I'm around Lilly, in general just happier to see and be with her.

It's proving good for my marriage too. Seeing Leighton having to deal more with the tedium and the constant (and exasperating) boundary setting (can that ever be fun?), makes me feel less badly about how I feel (and get) when I have to do that all the time (not always pretty, though I try so hard). And it's nice to be cooked for again, at least some days a week (as much as I like to control what goes on in the kitchen and what ends up on my plate).

Another thing we've implemented, are more regular dates. We've set up a weekly child swap system in which we take turns with some friends going out on a quick date.

Conversation flows in a different way over a drink at a pub or a meal at a restaurant. Becoming less about work/house/child/time management, we find ourselves sharing our passions and dreams in a different way, like we're picking up a thread from our pre-parenting days. It's like we get to be us more with our dates, just as I get to be me more these days with my work.

What small simple steps it takes some time, to make such a big difference in the well-being of our lives.

1 comment:

  1. This is wonderful! Hope the various balances in play here keep feeling a little better.


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